Mary Kay Mile
Mary Kay Fry
MARY KAY FRY, WOMAN EXTRAORDINARY
Her story, as told by her daughter, Rachelle.
She has always been there for me. She’s the kind of Mom who loves to tell stories over and over. For example, the day when I left my glasses at home, called home, and forgot my Mom was waiting at the front of the school in her car. Or the day when I blamed Mom for the “wind”, when making a poster for a football game that would not lay flat. Now I hear these stories in my head; Mary Kay has the bulbar type of ALS and can no longer tell her stories as she loved to do.
ALS has been a known disease in my life for a long time, although I didn’t quite understand ALS at such a young age. My grandfather, William Kenneth Hasty, died of familial ALS at the age of 56. I was a young girl and remember a few events. I remember going to Chanute, Kansas to visit my grandparents and other relatives, before he was diagnosed. At six, and not seeing my grandparents very often, I remember Grandpa trying to “catch” me. I was scared and ran up to the second floor bedroom. I wanted to hide. The only place I could think of was the laundry chute. So in I went. Bracing my legs on the sides, I stayed quiet as I heard Grandpa looking for me. After he left, I didn’t know how to get out, so I made my way down the chute to the basement (silly, the things you do as a kid). I wish now I had let Grandpa “catch” me to tell him how much I loved him.
The next visits to Kansas were different. Grandpa couldn’t move around as much. I remember the special chair he had to help him get up and down. On our last visit to Kansas before he died, I remember him in a hospital bed and wondering “what’s wrong with Grandpa?” He died later that year. As the years passed, I didn’t think that much about the disease, although I did write a paper on it in 7th grade.
William and Phyllis Hasty had three sons and a daughter named Mary Kay (my mother). She is a wife, mother of three, grandmother of three, friend to many and volunteer to hundreds. She met her soul mate, John, when she was 18. After only 3 months, they were married and left Kansas behind them. Over the next 17 years, while expanding their family, we lived in various states: Nebraska, Alabama, Mississippi and finally in 1981 we moved to Irvine, California. My Mom and Dad are still happily married after 37 years.
Mary Kay started volunteering with the Girl Scouts in Alabama. She started off small, as a Brownie leader for her children. She earned several awards with the Girl Scouts in Alabama (Completion of Trainers’ Training, Delivering the GS program to Brownie and Junior Girl Scouts and Contemporary Issues Workshop).
In California, she continued to follow her desire to volunteer for Girl Scouts. Her children (Denise, Cindy and Rachelle) were getting too old for Girl Scouts so she worked with others in the community. I can’t even explain how much of her time, effort and heart she gave to Girl Scouts. I just remember how proud I was of her for helping so many young kids.
We girls grew up and moved out of the house. Mom continued to lead a troop in Santa Ana while involved in events such as the Youth Expo and the Orange County Fair. Year after year, directing these events was her joy. She took pleasure in helping so many kids and giving less fortunate ones a different path to take, such as Rocio Montalvo (for whom Mom was a mentor for 14 years), who is now successfully attending a private college on a full scholarship. Rocio’s Dad has always been thankful that Mary Kay was there to make such a wonderful impact on his daughter.
Mary Kay also volunteered for the American Red Cross, American Heart Association, Santa Ana Unified School District and her church, The Good Shepherd Lutheran Church. She received many letters thanking her for volunteering for events and for promoting self-esteem to students.
Two of the main events that my Mom initiated and directed annually were the Youth Expo (an overnight Girl Scouting event with 3,000 girls participating) and the Orange County Fair (maintaining the Girl Scout booth each year for 17 years). It always amazed me that she could organize these events with hundreds of people and keep a twinkle in her eye. The friendships, the laughter, go on and on. We still hear members say, at these events, “Mary Kay, you always made this look so easy; we sure do miss you!” Of all the awards she has received through the years, her greatest Girl Scout award was the “Thanks Badge”, which is given to people who have greatly contributed to the organization with time, effort and heart.
I could go on and on about my Mom’s goodness but I need to get back to the topic at hand, ALS, and what has happened to her.
Mom suffered a brain aneurysm in May of 1997 that put her in a coma for 30 days. There was some question as to whether she would live, but Mom is a fighter. When she finally regained consciousness there was a long and painful recovery period. The only remnant of the incident, when she left the rehabilitation process, was aphasia. She continued to work with speech therapists; Mom’s spirit was often used as an example to other patients.
Still on medication for the aneurysm at the beginning of 2001, Mary Kay began to lose strength in her right arm. We hoped it was a side effect from the medication. Mom began working out with hand weights; the doctors ran tests; her brother was diagnosed with ALS. It took ‘til June for the doctors to diagnose familial ALS; her brother, William Dean Hasty, died of familial ALS in August. This disease would not respond to therapy or drugs as the aneurysm had.
Our time since then has been spent learning more about the disease, enjoying each day of life and praying for a cure for this horrible disease. We embrace every holiday, not knowing what the future holds. We daughters are carrying on with Mom’s traditions, such as making cookies for the holidays (we now have a greater appreciation of her cooking abilities!).
As we prepare for March 3rd and the Los Angeles Marathon, we combat our fears and seize the day; we hope that everyone takes the time to cherish their loved ones. Mary Kay’s mother, Phyllis, and brother, Joe, will be here to support the event. The Fry family has gained a lot from this disease – we have met a wonderful group of people while fighting for a cause that will not only help ALS victims but possibly other diseases as well.
